One of the reasons I write about my experiences and observations on Mother and Father’s attempts at parenting is to give a voice to babies. It’s high time us little ones had our say – goodness knows I need to provide a sensible balance to my parents’ nonsensical ramblings. Just the other day Mother pondered if ‘we’ll wake up one day and she’ll have a full set of teeth?’ Father isn’t much better, he recently said, with tears in his eyes: ‘I swear she just tried to turn the TV over to the football.’ I certainly did not. I was just trying to get hold of the remote control to chew it.
Anyway, here are some of my thoughts on questions I wish someone would ask me.
What’s the best thing about being a baby?
Many people (Father) presume it’s easy being a baby, that all we do is lie around sleeping or being fed. But a lot more goes into it than that. We have so much growing to do and the expectations upon us are huge – as soon as we’ve mastered one skill, like holding our heads, grown-ups start banging on about what comes next. ‘She’ll be sitting up soon,’ announced Mother excitedly, recently after I managed to turn over. I tried to roll my eyes in response but sadly haven’t yet mastered this particular skill.
But there are some great things about being little and probably the best thing is that everyone is willing to wait on you hand and foot. Need some more milk? Just let out a vigorous scream. Want picking up? Have a good cry. Want your teddy bear passing to you? A few yells should do it. And what I’ve learnt is that the more noise I make, the quicker I get what I want…
And the worst thing?
Oh, where to begin! There are so many annoying things, such as the extremely impertinent commentary on my toilet habits: ‘You should have seen the state of it. Running down her leg.’ The baths (no, Mother, sticking a rubber duck in the water does not ‘make it better.’) The misinterpretation (‘She looks happy,’ said, frequently, when I’m struggling with a bout of wind). But the worst thing, without a doubt, is that no-one seems to understand me. In my head I construct eloquent sentences such as: ‘Who would have thought that there could be so many shades of red and gold and yellow as there are amongst the fallen leaves,’ which Mother hears as: ‘Ah, are you telling me you’ve done a poo, darling?’
He won’t thank me for calling him a toy but I would have to say RoRo, my good friend and teddy bear. When Grandma first gave him to me, I thought he was a funny looking fella and refused to entertain him (I turned away from him every time he inveigled his way into my company courtesy of Mother or Father’s heavy handed efforts). But, after a while, he grew on me and we became the best of friends. The thing I like about him is that he’s a great listener and never every interrupts me with an opinion. In fact, he doesn’t say anything at all; Mother could learn a thing or two from his example.
Favourite thing to do?
I can while away whole days lying on my playmat, reaching up for the animals (frustratingly some of which are just out of my reach) and kicking my feet merrily on the keys at the bottom to make a delightful noise (although Father seems to not share my enjoyment of the tunes I make. More than once I have spied him putting ear plugs in when I have been at my most musically creative.) Often too, I fall asleep upon my mat, exhausted by all my efforts to reach the animals. (If I didn’t know better, I would say that Mother puts me on my playmat sometimes for this very purpose. Hmmmmm).
It has to be any of my babygros. Not only are they the very epitome of style, they are also the most comfortable garments you could possibly wear. I feel like I’ve been dressed in a hug. It still amazes me that I don’t see more adults similarly attired; grown-up babygros are the fashion of the future, mark my words.
Favourite television programme?
I would have to say Egg Bird on Baby TV. I haven’t got a clue what’s going on but I love all the bright colours.
And favourite book?
I had a musical book that used to play tunes every time I pressed a button. Somehow it got stuck on the loudest setting but all the better to hear it I thought, quite frankly, during the many, many hours I played with it. Sadly, though, I must say ‘had’ as it disappeared recently. It was last seen being put away by Mother….
And, favourite song?
That would be Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Except when it’s being caterwauled by Mother. Whoever told her she could sing should be ashamed of themselves.
What makes you laugh?
Playing peek a boo. I cannot help but giggle every time Father disappears then appears from behind a cloth. It is the most hilarious, magical thing I’ve ever seen.
And finally, who do you love and why?
Despite their continuously embarrassing and quite frankly, ridiculous behaviour, I love Mother and Father to the moon – and back. I know that they do everything they can to make me happy and I am so grateful – and one day, I will tell them just that.
Do you have a little one who’d like to take part in the #littleonetag? All you have to do is
- Thank the person who nominated you.
- Then, answer these questions on behalf of your little one:
- What’s the best thing about being <your age>?
- Favourite toy?
- Favourite thing to do?
- Favourite outfit?
- Favourite television programme?
- Favourite book?
- Favourite food?
- Favourite song?
- What makes you laugh?
- Who do you love and why?
- Then it would be great if you could copy and paste the little pic I made up into your post.
- Nominate who you’d like to take part in the #littleonetag
- And please tweet your post with the hashtag #littleonetag and copy me in @babyanonblog and I will tweet it too and share your little one’s thoughts with the world.
I am pleased to nominate the lovely little ones of:
@_mummaandco from Mumma and Co
@blog3girlsmummy from 3 Girls Mummy
@JansFamilyNotes from Jan’s Family Notebook
@soppymum16 from Soppy Mum
@me_becoming_mum from Me Becoming Mum
@fivelittledove5 from Five Little Doves
@KatCandyfloss from Candyfloss Dreams
@Alice_Soule from Living with a Jude
Love, Baby Anon x